Prayers for Mom

For a bit of time on Tuesday, I thought this photo would be one of the last ones taken of my mom.

My sister had called and was sobbing. I won't go into the details of that phone call, but for a split second, I thought she was already gone and the world stopped.

Fortunately, my Grandma went to check on Mom just in time and finally got a hold of someone to open her apartment and then get the ambulance from across the street (yes, Mom lives directly across the street from the ambulance...what a blessing on Tuesday!).

Right now, she is in the ICU and they are still unsure of what went wrong. Doctors can't agree and we are waiting on tests. She's able to speak now and is in stable condition, albeit still critical.

I am feeling helpless from a state away. I think I would still feel helpless there if I had gone. My duties and responsibilities as a mom has kept me from going back up there at this point. Her doctor said that she's going to continue to improve and that it wasn't critical for me to be there. I still feel stuck between a rock and a hard place though. My kids have already driven more than a 1000 miles in the last week. We still have almost 900 to go in the next couple of days. We have to be back for Brian to come home. But the worry that I feel for my mom is pulling me in another direction. Guilt for not being there is lingering...both by me personally and by an external source as well. I'm standing by my decision though.

I have faith that my mom is going to pull through this. She is STRONG. She is a fighter. She has already been through so much, and while it's all left it's mark on her, she survived. So, I know this is just going to be another mountain that she will overcome and plant her flag on top of.

I am constantly praying for her strength and improving health. I pray for her doctors to have the knowledge they need to figure this puzzle out and prevent it from happening again. I pray for my Grandma and my aunt as they are sure to be exhausted after the last few days. I pray for the future...that it be bright for our family and that we trust in God. He knows how this will all play out and I have to trust that He always does what is right for us.

I love you, Mom. I always will!