Tuesday, October 5, 2010


This morning wasn't a great one. It wasn't as bad as some people have it and I have to remember that sometimes. My family is healthy, we don't have any major problems in our lives and we are together. This morning just happened to be a little stressful and it caused a little bit of inconvienence. Writing this post will help me though, as I'm sure there are people out there feeling about the same way and knowing there is someone else out there helps (so, if you're out there, please comment so I can know I'm not alone!!!)
Before kids, things ran smoothly. While not the best at remembering things all the time, I still felt like things were organized and in control. When we added Austin to our family, there was a little bit of time when it was harder, but I still feel like I was in control and was semi-organized. After Colten, if it wasn't completely together, I could at least fake it. Adding Aiden into this chaos has completely thrown me for a loop. Faking it isn't even an option as I'm just not that good of an actress!
Getting Austin ready for school on a normal day isn't that bad. I don't normally have to be out of the house and all I have to do is get us dressed and Austin completely ready and then we head to the bus stop. However, if I have to go anywhere in the morning, that's when things spin out of control. It's almost impossible for things to run smoothly. Things get spilled, Aiden decides he's hungry way before he "should" be, and a diaper (along with the entire outfit) almost always has to be changed right as we are heading out the door. Colten is off doing what almost-two-year-olds do and that usually means something else to do before we run out the door. Throw in the dogs and there is just too much to take care of to get out of the house in time.
Of course, there's also the 3 trips back into the house, dis-alarming and re-alarming the security system each time, for things that didn't make it into the diaper bag.
Can I also add that I absolutely, positively hate to be late? I try to allow time for the unexpected, but it seems like it adds up to be more everytime!
This morning, I ended up way too late to Colten's ENT appointment and they decided that they just couldn't allow that and rescheduled us. For November 2. I about lost it. Well, actually I headed for the bathroom for a little "emotional time" for this post partum mom. I know it's not the end of the world, but with the stress of getting out of the house and then having to wait another month for his appointment, I just needed to let it out.
I think the reason it seemed so bad to me at the time is that I realized that things will be even more stressful when "duty calls." Brian won't be around to help or even to be there to let me vent. I feel the need to be super mom right now so that I'm more at ease when the time comes for him to leave. My mind can't even imagine how much harder all of this is in a few months. If I can't handle it now, how in the world will I handle it then? He won't be here to remind me, like he did today, that this is all a transition. That I'll figure it out soon and everything will be fine. (Can I just say how much I love this man???)
Ok, I think I feel better now. I know I won't have it together right away, but I'm hoping that it comes soon. If not, I guess I'll just be known as that mom. :-)


jilljohnandhope said...

Maybe we just need a daily reminder from eachother. You CAN do this! You are doing it! Your children are loved (and know it!) You are loved. Life is good! And, pardon me, but screw the ENT office. Clearly you have a new baby and things are never easy those first few weeks. Jerks. Well, that made me feel better! ;)

Anonymous said...

OK--can I just say that there are NO super moms all the time? You ARE a Super mom--one who loves her children with all her being, who would die for them, who takes such good care of them on a daily basis and puts them first ALWAYS. Aiden's less than one month old--I can promise you it took me much longer to "get things together" I'm glad you are their MOM! Love u--yaya

Anonymous said...

I don't know who came up with the phrase that it's easier to go from 2 to 3 than from 1 to 2 because that is SO not the case. Having our 3rd baby this summer (who needs lots of attention from mom) in addition to our extremely active 2 year old and our oldest now in kindergarten has turned our lives completely upside down. I feel like I'm late for everything, that getting out of the house is a huge undertaking and I'm swimming in messiness at home. It is hard work! But it's also just a short season of life and I'm sure we'll look back on these days and miss them when we're older.